The Complicated Illusion of Achieving Nothing

I'm writing this between browsing job postings on LinkedIn. 

Over a year ago I left my job as founding Creative Director at Paragon FX Group, a collectibles startup focused on the growing adult collector market. 

I wasn’t laid off or downsized, and I didn’t leave for a new opportunity. I simply quit. I needed a break after managing my mother’s physical and mental deterioration, her passing, and her estate. I was tired. Burnt out.

The plan was to take a few months off and return refreshed. But in that time, the creative landscape shifted. AI tools exploded in accessibility, and global trade tensions slowed down the consumer products world.  My two main areas of expertise were suddenly in flux.

Thankfully, for the first time in my life, my finances are stable. I have the luxury of taking time to find work that truly fits, where I can make an impact in spaces I care about.

Now, I sit here reflecting on the past 12 months. It’s easy to fall into the trap of “I have done nothing.”  The other day I told a friend “I could be half way through a masters degree by now.”

But do I really want that?  No. (Well, maybe-but for now, no.)

When looking at my months of “nothings,” I am seeing a whole lot of interesting “somethings.”

• I wrote my third children’s book, and the entire series is currently under consideration at a new publisher. 

• I developed a new comic book series and outline of the first 6 issues, which are also under consideration at a publisher. 

• A toy line I created over a decade ago has sprung new life and is being manufactured in the new year. 

• I revitalized a startup idea I had a few years ago.  (It didn't go as planned, but hey, I tried!)

• I did multiple sessions of TMS therapy to alleviate some long term covid symptoms I was still having. 

• I took a personal branding class from an expert, and a general branding class from Stanford University Online. 

• I sat on 4 advisory boards for startups going through StartX, and stayed on in official capacity with one, in which I am the process of helping secure multiple keystone licenses. 

• I made my first seed round investment. 

• I entered my first writing competition.

• I took my family to Paris twice. 

Looking back, this seems like a lot of “something.” 

For years, I equated productivity with paychecks or certificates - things you can hold. Tangible things. But much of what we build in our “quiet seasons” becomes tangible later.

So if you are ever in a long period of layoff, or rest, or just a deserved break, remember that even when you feel like nothing is happening, something always is.